But. . .

I just want to make you SO HAPPY. I want to be the perfect compliment to you. But sometimes when you ask for the perfect me I was before. I just can't find her. I've been lookin'. Behind every door, in every dusty corner. Under your thick mattress. In every word I used to write. Deep within the spines of my used-to-be favorite books. There's hints everywhere about her habits and obsessions. But no hint big enough to fully saturate myself in who I used to be. And I know I promise you everyday I'll find her. But after searchin' this much. She's not in the places I remember setting her. She's not in the spaces where I remember her clinging to. She's not boxed up. And I think, just maybe. I accidentally set her free. And if I did... I know where she is. And she's not here anymore. She's fuckin' light-years away. And I know I should've chained her down. But you can't say no to a face like that.